This season brings with it a magic like no other. It's in the air. That feeling of warmth and merriment.
I become childlike again at this time of the year, and I seem to look at everything in awe. But, at the same time, just on the edge of those joyful feelings, I somehow feel like everything is 'not enough'. I haven't done enough. I haven't bought enough. I haven't got enough. "Comparison is the thief of joy", said Theodore Roosevelt, and he's not wrong!
If you're anything like me, you'll be scrolling through social media and looking at those around you with feelings of doubt and envy. How come they've got it all together?! How come they've got so much?! Done so much?!
It's easy to forget who you are, to forget what you already have, and to wish for more. But feeling that way is never going to steer you forward. It won't help you to grow and develop. It's just going to keep you right where you've always been; watching others live, while you just exist.
'Tis the season...to count your blessings. And here are 7 ways that will help you to shift your mindset and to give you more feelings of gratitude:
Remember those in need
We all know that there are people in the world that are less fortunate than us. Unfortunately, there are many homeless people with no loved ones around them, especially at this time of year, which can be really hard for them to deal with. Sometimes, it pays to remember this and to be grateful for what you do have in your life.
Think of the people you have close to you. Even that annoying mother-in-law, who keeps interfering and taking over the cooking duties because she knows best! She's still there with you though, helping you in the kitchen, halving the stressful load of catering for everyone. Recognise the small positives that make up the bigger blessings.
Journal the positives
The act of writing is a very therapeutic one. It can help to alleviate stress and anxiety. It can help to remind you of all the good things. Try to journal daily, and list all the things you are thankful for. This is an enlightening experience and can remind you of how blessed you really are.
Sometimes we forget the good things that have happened to us and instead we focus on that one bad thing that came along. It's understandable. That's how we're programmed. But help your mindset to get into the habit of reframing the way it looks at everything.
Actually take the time to look for the positives in your life and note them in your journal, so you can remind yourself and create those new neural pathways that will keep you joyful.
Spend quality time with those you love
Spending time with loved ones ignites the feelings of gratitude and the warmth of blessings. I'm certainly guilty of saying that I don't have enough time in my day to meet up with some of my friends and family, but that's a complete lie that we all regularly tell ourselves.
We can always make time. Even 5 minutes to chat on the phone. Stop making excuses and schedule in that window of quality time to share with those that are here right now, before it's too late. Whether you call your mum and have a good catch-up on the phone, or you meet up with your sister in town and have a girly shopping day or coffee break, make sure to spend that time with those you love and feel blessed to be with them.
Give without expecting to receive
The act of giving is one that is well-known for its inner healing benefits. To support and help others, and to project kindness onto others is a surefire way of enhancing those feelings of blessings and gratitude. Just knowing that you have made someone smile, made a difference in their life, helped to make their day run a little smoother, is enough to make you feel good about yourself (and for them to feel good too, of course)!
It can remind you of the qualities that you possess and it will encourage you to value who you are and all that you already have in your life. Giving kindness to other people, without expecting anything in return, is the greatest gift you could give to yourself and to others.
Practice forgiveness
When you forgive yourself and others, it releases unnecessary negative emotions that have kept you feeling unworthy and 'hard done by'. It can be hard to forgive, and sometimes I don't like to let someone get the better of me, but in the end who am I proving anything to? And does it really matter? Will it matter in 5 minutes or 5 years from now? The answer is, probably not! We are all only human, and we all make mistakes. And that's ok. If we can learn to forgive ourselves and others, we can then truly see the things that really do matter in our lives. The blessings that are already there, that we've masked over with our negative emotions. Release the negativity, let go of distorted views, and welcome in gratitude.
Affirm yourself daily
Create your own personal affirmations that you can remind yourself with daily. I have found this to be very helpful, as a conscious effort in reinforcing mindfulness and blessed feelings.
Think of the words you'd like to say to yourself every day and write them out on post-it notes that you can place around the house (or take with you to work), and keep reading them throughout your day, to give you that boost of thankfulness that will keep your positive mental state active and blissful.
You could write something like 'I am happy and grateful for everything I have', 'Each day, I receive countless blessings and I'm grateful for them all', or 'I welcome abundance, gratitude, blessings and opportunities'.
Whatever you decide to write, tailor it to your specific feelings and needs, and really feel the words as you repeat them to yourself.
Be mindful in the moment
Focus your attention on what you're doing in the moment. Whether it's making breakfast, having a shower, or washing the dishes, do those things, in that moment, with intention and purpose. Feel the act and everything it involves while you're in it. This is a great way to create feelings of gratitude; feeling grateful that you can see what you're doing, that you can use your hands to touch things, that you can smell the coffee in your cup, that you can taste the food that you're eating. These things we take for granted; our senses, our minds, our bodies, these are all the fundamental things we should be grateful for in the first place. These are our ultimate blessings. Be mindful and present in the moment, and count those blessings!
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Let's hold onto our values and allow our gratitude to grow. The practice of being grateful can lead to a more joyful journey of self-discovery and positive personal growth.
Show yourself and your life some appreciation. Stack up your mental inventory, and create those thankful blessings that you can count on!