I have been thinking a lot lately, about what is holding me back from living my best life and being my authentic and best self. I'll admit that I don't like the realisations that have surfaced from my thoughts, but I am starting to see how I have been blocking myself from expressing the best of myself and achieving a better way of being.
Most of us look for ways in which we can live a life that marries up with our true goals and values. We want to make our everyday choices and actions fit with our future visions. So, how can we reconnect with our dreams, dispel our negative thoughts and become our best selves?
An important thing to remember is that being your best self is about being real, not being perfect. A good starting point is to visualise yourself on a good day, where everything seems easy; you don't care about what others think of you, you're not stressed in a traffic jam, you've got that inner confidence that everything will turn out ok. We all experience these days from time to time, where we've performed well, we haven't procrastinated and we haven't allowed our emotions to get the better of us.
Of course, if we're going through serious issues and we may be grieving, we're not going to discard our emotions as if they don't matter. But, on the days where we are generally not feeling our best, but there's nothing serious going on, it's surprising just how adaptable we can be with our emotions, and how we can turn our mood around by simply saying to ourselves, "Stop!", and then recapturing a pleasant memory that reminds us of when we may have felt calm, energetic and happier.
Something that helps me when I'm not feeling my best is to seek out the people, places and activities that I really enjoy and that will help me perform better. This also helps me to figure out what my best qualities are. I especially find my best self when I'm being creative. That's when I know I'm in my element.
We all go through regular changes and shifts in mood and perspective. Instead of just focusing on a static snapshot in time of ourselves, we should try to embrace a flowing sense of self, where we re-frame, re-think and re-consider ourselves. In this process, we might just find out exactly what our best self is capable of!
Try asking yourself 'What excites me? What makes life worth living? If i just drop everything right now, and there are no limits, which direction would I want to go in?' This simple exercise can help to release your inner desires and can bring out the best in yourself. We all have strengths and talents, that sometimes we are blind to because, quite possibly, we take them for granted, (I know I do!), but they are most definitely there, in each of us.
It's time to reflect on your current position, and work out what your next steps forward will be!
Assess Yourself
Ask those closest to you to tell you what they believe they can rely on you for. The more that people can tell you, the richer your awareness of your self becomes.
Reflect on the answers you are given. What surprised you? What pleased you? Consider which of your strengths you most enjoy using and make a list of any changes you can make, at work or at home, that will enable you to use these strengths more often. Keep tweaking them so your life can reflect more of your best qualities.
Find Your Slogan
No matter how big or small, list 10 of your successes. It could be something like getting promoted at work,or completing a course. For each of these successes, list the qualities that you used, for example, courage, honesty, strength, intuition, etc.
Put these qualities into groups, such as 'Moral Qualities' (where you could list courage or self-denial), 'Emotional Intelligence' (where you could list the ability to listen well, or great at communicating and negotiating), and 'Intellectual Qualities' (where you could list good concentration or sense of organisation). Look for the constants in your listings-these are all the major qualities that bring you success.
Then, think about your slogan. Start writing 'I am someone who...' and then finish with what you believe is the best of yourself. For example, you might want to write 'I am someone who makes the complicated things simple', or 'I am someone who finishes projects.'
Your slogan is your strength. Build on your best side as well as strengthening your 'not so' best side. This is the perfect way to develop your own resources in achieving your overall best.
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We can only value ourselves if we are developing our potential. That's where self-esteem begins. We must find the spark in our innermost being that will ignite our deep individuality. We all bring our own essence into the world and expressing this through our talents and skills is what links us to our core.
The best of ourselves comes out when we work towards something meaningful. For me, it's when I'm helping and inspiring others, and using my creativity in a way that makes me happy, that my best self emerges and I feel the contentment I felt as a child. When things were innocent and the effects of the world hadn't yet made their mark.
I encourage you to broaden your idea of yourself. Feel your passions, feel your natural way of life, and find your best self!